Post by jimmy on Mar 20, 2014 20:54:20 GMT
I am a twin. Together we grew up doing everyday things, but always together. We went to school together. We went to work I the same place together. But we will never grow old together. My twin died when he was 38 years old.
I left my home town when I was 20 to seek employment settled and never went back. I am 50 in 2 weeks time or should i say we are 50 in 2 weeks time.
There has always been a guilty feeling of me still being here and not with him. I felt he was cut down in his prime and there is a slight injustice about the timing of his death. I believe in the saying that a person should have a "good innings" as they say. Some children die at birth, some very younger and some before their time.
I remember the news of my twins passing and felt a burden on my shoulder that if as a pair we should have a "good innings" I need to live to at least 102.
For 11 years I have been counting days/months/years marking away on my calendar that exists in my head. I began wondering whether i buried my 38 year old brother or my twin that i grew up with. I felt that it was on me to deliver him to the right place in the afterlife. The reason for this is that the surrounding of his death was unsure or as the coroner put 'open verdict'. Any mention of the word that means to take ones life would certainly mean a destiny lies below us. I felt that I needed to speak up and placed my argument to them to reach the aforementioned verdict. I have managed to convince the powers that decide on earth but feel when my time comes and asked by a more heavenly soul I may not be as rewarded.
We hear songs on the radio that we feel we can relate to and although the songwriter never had you in mind it means that something personal. When I saw REFUGEES video I related it to me although, Richard directed it and had a whole different meaning it can have as many as long as it means something.
I don’t think Richard will read this but if he did I was wondering what he meant and compare it to my meaning.
I left my home town when I was 20 to seek employment settled and never went back. I am 50 in 2 weeks time or should i say we are 50 in 2 weeks time.
There has always been a guilty feeling of me still being here and not with him. I felt he was cut down in his prime and there is a slight injustice about the timing of his death. I believe in the saying that a person should have a "good innings" as they say. Some children die at birth, some very younger and some before their time.
I remember the news of my twins passing and felt a burden on my shoulder that if as a pair we should have a "good innings" I need to live to at least 102.
For 11 years I have been counting days/months/years marking away on my calendar that exists in my head. I began wondering whether i buried my 38 year old brother or my twin that i grew up with. I felt that it was on me to deliver him to the right place in the afterlife. The reason for this is that the surrounding of his death was unsure or as the coroner put 'open verdict'. Any mention of the word that means to take ones life would certainly mean a destiny lies below us. I felt that I needed to speak up and placed my argument to them to reach the aforementioned verdict. I have managed to convince the powers that decide on earth but feel when my time comes and asked by a more heavenly soul I may not be as rewarded.
We hear songs on the radio that we feel we can relate to and although the songwriter never had you in mind it means that something personal. When I saw REFUGEES video I related it to me although, Richard directed it and had a whole different meaning it can have as many as long as it means something.
I don’t think Richard will read this but if he did I was wondering what he meant and compare it to my meaning.